Hello everyone! I've been watching this community for a bit and have a small potential one shot piece. This is the first posting I've done to this community, and while I'm not new to slash writing, this is my first attempt at Shep/Beck so any kind of feedback would be wonderful!
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Slash Pairing: Shep/Beck, Doctor/Patient, Sheppard/Beckett.
Setting: Sometime during AU Season 1
Title: "When all is said and done..."
Completed, chapters: At the moment yes, one.
Summary: They’d been quite busy these last few days. What? With
Elizabeth’s capture by the Genii, and Sheppard’s gung-ho-let’s-go-
in-guns-blazing rescue plan, things had been hellish to say the
“When all is said and done…”
The infirmary was dark, the lights dimmed for the benefit of its sleeping patients during the late hours of the night. Quietly in his office, Dr. Carson Beckett spent another sleepless night working through the mountain of paperwork that had been building up in his negligence.
They’d been quite busy these last few days. What? With Elizabeth’s capture by the Genii, and Sheppard’s gung-ho-let’s-go-in-guns-blazing rescue plan, things had been hellish to say the least. Thankfully, John had been able to retrieve her, even if his methods had been a little...forceful. Though she returned to Atlantis unconscious and injured, she would survive and yet wasn’t alone in her injuries.
He’d been treating nothing but burn injuries for the past twenty-four hours and many of his charges were currently sleeping soundly in the darkened ward, drifting in morphine induced dreams.
Carson yawned and stretched, extending his arms to their fullest length and sighing in contentment when he heard his elbows ‘pop!’ before allowing his limbs to hang limply at his sides again.
His thoughts were glum; eyelids beginning to droop over sleep clouded irises of dazzling blue. The Scot shifted in his chair in a futile attempt to get comfortable and extended his fingers to the keyboard again.
Upon hearing the infirmary airlock doors open, he paused. Who would be coming into the clinic thislate at night?
“Surely not another injury…”
He spoke softly, mostly to himself as Carson arose from his swiveling chair and stepped out of his office to see just who was paying him a visit at nearly two-thirty in the morning, standard Atlantis time.
Crossing the dark ward, Carson strained his eyes, trying to catch any sign of movement. When he reached the doors and still hadn’t seen anything, a small prickle of fear ran down his spine, as it wouldn’t be the first time the city had intruders. Needless to say, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a gruff voice whisper from behind himself.
Spinning around, Carson forced himself to relax as he recognized both the face and voice of Major John Sheppard.
“Holy crap, yeh nearly gave me a heart attack Major.”
The Scot hissed softly as he placed a hand over his chest and felt his heart racing. Really, he wasn’t cut out for this, never wanted to journey to Atlantis anyway.
“Sorry Doc, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that.”
John actually had the grace to look apologetic while rubbing the back of his own head, causing that rakish hair that Carson just loved to run his own fingers through to stand up on end more than usual.
“Aye, yeh never do John.”
There was a playful note of affection in the doctor’s voice, and though John chuckled softly, Carson could tell he was hiding something.
“Why don’t we step into my office? At least then we won’t have to be whisperin’ anymore.”
John nodded and quietly followed the Scotsman through the infirmary, hazel eyes alighting on the prone form of Elizabeth as she slept soundly in a bed beside Ford. The lieutenant had been injured during the rescue mission, his young face laden with cuts and minor burns all because of that Kolya bastard; because Sheppard hadn’t been there fast enough with a good enough plan to save them…
He stepped swiftly into Carson’s office and the doctor closed the door quietly behind them before turning to face the other man, a doctor’s concern in his eyes.
John found himself staring into those wondrous pools, getting lost in thoughts of just how did Carson's eyes manage to get that blue, and how that smile of his with those dimples could be legal. No one should be allowed to be that adorable, and even as Carson asked him just what was really troubling him, John found he just couldn’t look away.
“It’s… I… nothing’s wrong Carson. I just, my uh… my arm’s bothering me again and I couldn’t sleep.”
Carson wasn’t convinced, and he stepped forward to place his hands on John’s shoulders as the fly-boy seated himself upon the doctor’s desk.
“Maj—John. Look at me love,”
He spoke softly, the sound of that Scottish brogue washing comfortingly over John as Carson leaned in close, pressing his forehead to Sheppard’s and looking directly into his eyes. Having really no choice in the matter, John gazed back into the eyes of the man he’d come to love, trying not to let the vulnerability he felt show through. Carson studied his eyes, searching through those deep pools of hazel, trying to find the root of whatever was making John uncomfortable enough to seek out his comfort in the dead of night when he could easily be caught by one of the patrolling marines.
Damn American military protocols.
“…What’s troublin’ you lad? You know you can tell me, it’s not like I’m going to tell anyone.”
Yeah John knew that. He knew all too well that Carson would never dare betray his confidentiality with him; but still… still he had a hard time dealing with the fact, let alone actually admitting it to someone else, that he was feeling guilty and troubled because he didn’t have his act together. That he was and could be vulnerable and caught off guard. After all, wasn’t John supposed to be the strong one? Wasn’t John supposed to be… well… like a type of Superman? Invulnerable and indestructible, unable of being defeated and always there to save the day…?
“John love, tell me… what’s wrong? I know somethin’s wrong. There’s no use in you tryin’ to hide it from me.”
Carson kept his tone warm and friendly, reaching up a hand and placing it on the Major’s cheek, softly caressing the flesh with his thumb.
Sheppard closed his eyes for a moment, held in a breath and then released it, expelling a lot of built up tension before looking into the doctor’s eyes again.
Typical. Now he couldn’t find the right wording to tell Carson just what was troubling him. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t know how to, it was more that he didn’t want to sound like he just had a bruised hero-complex. With as much as McKay bitched about this supposed ‘character-flaw’ Sheppard possessed, John was in no hurry to prove him right. Not that Rodney had much room to talk about character-flaws either, but still.
“…I guess… I guess I’m just feeling a bit… guilty. That’s all.”
Carson blinked, a bit thrown by Sheppard’s statement. He’d known the man for a good eight months now, and knew he possessed more demons than most on the Atlantis base, but never expected a kind of confession as that; although it did stir a type of warmth within him. Spreading, almost contagiously, through his entire being and filling him up inside. The knowledge that John would confess something like that to him touched a soft spot within the Scot and caused him to feel a strong surge of affection for the man before him.
Sure, he was romantically interested in John. And Carson knew that John felt the same way, it had been obvious there was chemistry between the two of them from the get-go; but they had only been ‘dating’, if you could call sneaking around behind the entire bases’ back dating, for roughly three weeks now. Quite frankly, it flattered the doctor that John had already placed that much trust in him.
A soft smile played across Carson’s lips as he tilted John’s head upward and gave him a gentle kiss, still caressing his cheek as Sheppard melted into the touch.
Breaking away slowly, their lips barely touching, Carson spoke in a warm, low tone.
“John… you’ve got nothin’ to feel guilty about. You got Elizabeth away from that crazy daft bastard and his Gestapo wannabe’s before they could do any serious harm, and before Atlantis became compromised. You did just fine… no one holds you responsible for anything, let it slip from your mind love. No one expects yeh to be Superman or anythin’.”
It was comforting, really it was, to have that gentle touch on his cheek. Hear those words that it was okay and what happened wasn’t his fault; that he did do good in rescuing them, and it provided Sheppard a bit of a way to let go so he wouldn’t have another skeleton to add to his closet.
He’d had that black mark from Afghanistan on his record for some time now, ever since he’d set foot on Atlantis anyway, everyone knew it was there, yet no one had yet to inquire why. He knew there were other less-than-honorable marks to go with his record as well, and hidden things like the time he spent in the Black-Ops, but here… here no one had to know about it. And even if they did… they probably wouldn’t care anyway because they’d all come together beneath the leadership that both John and Elizabeth provided, to work as a team, no—a family. Here… no one cared what he’d done in the past because all they saw and knew was the Sheppard who had never steered them wrong, the Sheppard who had always been there for them to save the city countless times ((sure with help from McKay)) and that’s all that mattered. Here, he could be…
“Yeah… yeah, you’re right Carson. I guess, I just felt bad because we couldn’t get there earlier, y’know…?”
Carson chuckled softly, leaning back and placing his hands in his pockets.
“Aye love, I know. But still, yeh can only work with what ya got, right? The two of ‘em’ll be up in no time, they just need a bit more time to recover.”
John nodded, slipping off Carson’s desk to stand before the doctor, feeling relatively glad that he’d decided to come visit his new-found lover with his problems, rather than having to subtlety ask Teyla to schedule an appointment with Kate Heightmeyer for him. He smiled, his usual boy-ish charm sparkling in his eyes as he gave Carson a quick kiss, nuzzling his face against the Scot’s for a moment before straightening up again.
“…Thanks Carson. I knew talking to you would make me feel better.”
Carson could only smile tiredly, waving a hand almost dismissively as though to say ‘don’t mention it’ before he used it to cover his mouth, yawning hugely.
Sheppard frowned; finally noticing the lines gathering at the edges of the doctor’s slowly dulling eyes, and the dark circles beginning to develop beneath them. He placed a hand to Carson’s shoulder, turning the shorter man to steer him out of the infirmary, chuckling as he spoke.
“C’mon Doc, you look like you and sleep haven’t seen each other in a while.”
Carson paused and shook his head slightly, placing his hand overtop John’s and giving it a swift pat before removing it.
“Aye, while that may be true lad, I’ve got too much to catch up on here to go to bed now.”
John opened his mouth to protest, but Carson placed a finger to his lips to silence him.
“No. I won’t be hearin’ any of your protests John. You just go ahead and go on back to bed now love. I promise I’ll catch some sleep before the nights out. Besides, you never know what the morning might bring. We can’t be havin’ our military CO dead on his feet because of exhaustion, now can we?”
A sweet smile from the doctor silenced any other protest John might have tried to use; besides, he knew just how stubborn the man could be. The Major nodded in defeat, smiling when Carson placed a kiss to his cheek and gave his hair a small tousle.
“Yeah, okay Carson. Just… just don’t kill yourself, all right? I think I’d have to give myself a swift kick in the ass otherwise.”
Beckett grinned, playfully pushing John toward the door to his office, Sheppard giving a small chuckle himself as he opened it and stepped back into the dark ward, closing the door with a soft ‘click!’ before heading on his way.
Carson shook his head while he watched the Major’s progress across the infirmary, finally returning to his desk once he’d safely left the ward. With a huge smile across his lips and amusement dancing in his eyes, he stretched his fingers back out to the keyboard to continue typing; the ‘tack! Tack! Tack!’ of his keystrokes the only sound heard on the sleeping floor. Carson continued on his way through the mass of paperwork with nothing but good thoughts filling his head and suddenly not feeling quite so tired anymore.